The Hoochie Coochie Hex

From Dr. Marvel’s 1929 book entitled Hoodoo for the Common Man, we find his infamous Hoochie Coochie Hex.

 What follows is a verbatim transcription of the text:

The Hoochie Coochie Hex should not be used in conjunction with any other Hexes.  This can lead to disaster.  

The Hoochie Coochie Hex can only work in the month of October with the coming of a full moon.  It will not work in September and will not work in November.  This point is now well established.

Should one find themselves in a fit of despair related to a financial transaction that results in the loss of money related to the buying or selling of a farm, homestead, or business enterprise, then one might be well advised to consider putting on my Hoochie Coochie Hex. 

Let it be fully understood that this is not a Hex to be trifled with as it most certainly produces superfluous results and should not be put on by one of insufficient character whom is unable to withstand the outcome of the power of the hex and results therefore rendered.  

It is well known that a one Mr. Limon, a residence on Winfield, Ohio,  put the Hoochie Coochie Hex on a local banker, who unbeknownst to Mr. Limon, had taken to making deals on behalf of an unscrupulous group of land speculators.  Suffice it to say, Mr. Limon lost $1500.oo on a 135 acre parcel on the edge of town, having been taken in, only to learn later that the land had in actuality never been put up for sale by its rightful owner,  a gentleman by the name of Mr. Thomas J. Wilkes.

Mr. Wilkes, upon first meeting Mr. Limon—whom assumed he was now the rightful owner and inspecting his property for the first time—was politely informed by Mr. Wilkes that the land was not his no matter the fancy Deed of Trust that he held in his hand.  Furthermore, Mr. Wilkes produced the genuine Deed to the land which sent Mr. Limon scurrying back to town in torment and despair.  

I, Dr. Percival G. Marvel III happened to be passing through town at the time and upon hearing of the incident I quickly surmised that Mr. Limon was in need of my assistance and I immediately took action and presented him him my offer of putting the Hoochie Coochie Hex on the banker and land speculators that had sold him the 135 acre parcel in question.  

Within three days, two executives of the land speculator company had left town and the other was tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.

The banker committed suicide by hanging himself on the rafters of the supply room of the First National Bank, leaving behind a note confessing to his crimes and a key to a safe deposit box that contained a sizeable amount of cash that he wished to be used to compensate his victims.  I tell this story so there will not be any doubt in the minds of skeptics as to the power of the Hoochie Coochie Hex.

The Hoochie Coochie Hex:

  1. Draw a chalk circle around the perimeter of the house or establishment of the person who has wronged you financially.
  2. Draw arrows from the chalk line with a stick one each pointing north, south, east & west
  3. Cut the heads off of half a dozen pullets and drip their blood over the top of the chalk line every few feet around the circle.
  4. Tie the legs of the headless pullets together. The pullets will still be alive for a short spell even without their heads.
  5. Allow the headless pullets to dance the Hoochie Coochie until they drop dead.

 

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Abundance is a blessing to the wise; The use of riches in discretion lies. Learn this, ye men of wealth—a heavy purse in a fool’s pocket is a heavy curse.

— Cumberland