Shipmates

I once met a chap, hailed from Harvard
said where’d ye attend school, this here is starboard
On his diploma was a bit more yellow
Than that on the belly of his scholarly fellows
His hat was a good half inch taller
Than his lapels which were narrowly smaller
So I yanked him up by his collar
Whence he commenced to holler:
“Sir you must be quite daft
Release me that I may go aft”
You don’t know your port from your ale
Says I being a good man from Yale
But since you insist on this ride
How about a look at the tides
As I kicked his arse overboard
And reminded him to thank the Good Lord
That he’s peacefully floating at sea
And not here on deck, shipmates with me
For this shirt that hails me from Yale
Belongs to the barrister that posted my bail

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Who was it said the human race is divided into guests and hosts, well I’m a host, not a guest. I don’t like being a guest. I like being a host.

— John Aspinall – The Clermont Club