A Short Note on Manners for the Young Man Wishing to Make a Goodly Impression Whilst Avoiding Duels

Over the years I have observed a decline in manners amongst young men as a general principle and though there is not one particular thing that may be asserted as the causal reason for this, one might speculate…

Self-awareness and being aware of one’s surroundings in social interactions is something worth contemplating should a young man wish to make a goodly and lasting impression with future mother and father-in-laws, potential business clients, educated members of the clergy and perhaps the occasional fixer should one be inclined to take up politics—Caveat; not all fixers are especially socially adept, what?

Rather than bore the pants off the young man who perchance stumbles blindly into this article, let’s just get down to it and present a few dos and dont’s thus cutting to the proverbial chase.

A Few Don’ts, Never’s and God-forbids: (From personally observed behaviours of a few slobs, sloths, and whatchamacallems.)

  • Never set a drink on a polished piano, grand or otherwise, without a coaster suitable to the task.
  • God-forbid one does not understand that one may substitute the word fine-furniture for piano in the above sentence.
  • Don’t tread on a fine looking Persian rug without first ascertaining from its owner do they prefer shoes be removed.
  • Never sit on a sofa cushion unless one is willing to cough up the dough needed to repair the rip in the $500 per yard fabric should one’s hefty derriere bust the seams.  Gently pick up the cushion and set it aside in a caring manner prior to planting one’s arse and only if one has been invited to take a seat in the first place.
  • Never should one prop their feet up after taking a seat…not on a coffee table, foot cushion or other furnishing unless invited to do so by the clear and present owner of said furniture.
  • God-forbid one does not turn one’s phone off prior to entering the abode of the host,  one should never remove it from one’s pocket, and never enter an abode with it visible unless one is a medical doctor on emergency call duty and has clearly established this protocol with the host prior to the visit.  The best thing to do is leave the phone in one’s car prior to the visit.
  • One should never talk more than one’s host.  One of the least enforced linguistic skills amongst the new millennium’s children is  turn-taking.  Let it be known that  I do actually know a few sixty year olds that have never fully assimilated said skill. If one does not understand this point, I suggest one look it up.  Never attempt to change the topic of conversation of the host unless one is a life-long acquaintance of the host well-versed in the other’s idiosyncrasies and personality traits— Otherwise, a duel might well ensue….

More later….as I quickly become bored with ill-mannered dandies….

 

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The only true secret of assisting the poor is to make them agents in bettering their own condition.

— Archbishop Sumner