By the time I got to California the blondes had gone home
The Beach Boys were sporting dreadlocks
and singing reggae songs
The life guard at the tower
didn’t have a tan
Said if you’re looking for Mama Cass
she’s asleep over there in the van
The last surfer in California
was staring at the waves
His longboard in tatters
had seen better days
He gazed far into the sunset
in an attempt to bring it back,
Said follow me young dreamer
there’s something that you lack
A gentle rain began falling
muddying up the sand
Somewhere in the distance,
Mama Cass was snoring in her van
We walked for about an hour
through sand, dune, and brack
Shortly we were standing
in front of a dilapidated surf shack
The tin roof was held together
by ten penny nails
Water was dripping off the roof
into an old blue bailing pail
These old timber floor boards have survived earthquakes
hard rain and hail
He spoke the words with pride
as he leaned upon the porch rail
Surrounding the shack was growing
a small stand of pines
He said palms in California
are a Beverly Hills state of mind
The California coastline
isn’t like what’s in the books
If you don’t believe me
go out back and have another look
The place you think you’re going
is in only in your mind
If you listen to me carefully
I can save you lot’s of time
Many dreamers come here
searching in the sand
For most it’s disappointment,
cheap hotels, and aging rock bands
I’ve seen them come for glory
on the big silver screen
A young starlet’s illusion
a facade made of green
Strumpets line the boulevard
of Hollywood and Vine
They can tell you all about it
if you’ve got the time
Faded stars and glory
have never paid the bills
There’s a retirement home for actors
who are over the hill
But it shut down due to lack of funding
back in ’09
Millionaire producers
just don’t have the time
Many swarm across the border
looking for a better life
But it’s the same old story
and one more day of strife
Minimum wage labor,
sweat, cement, and stone
For the king and queen of LA
to sit upon their throne
The last surfer in California
said let’s fire up the pot
We’re having boiled cabbage and potatoes
that’s all I’ve got
Did you think there was a lobster in my Pot?
About an hour later
Mama Cass showed up with cold beer
Her waist length gray hair a flowing
she pulled up a chair
The Last surfer in California
lit a cigarette
He claimed that nicotine and hops
hadn’t killed a surfer yet
That night I slept on the front porch
under a sky drenched in stars
Somewhere in the distance
Mama Cass was hitting the bars
The Last Surfer in California
was gone when I awoke
Hanging from a fish hook
was a handwritten note
You can search the world over
for that perfect wave
Or you can live your life like no tomorrow
each and every day
You can wander here and wander there
through dunes, surf and brack
But time is much like plunder, you never get it back
California may have what you’re looking for
then again it may not
But one thing I know for certain
It doesn’t guarantee lobster in your pot
Verum usque in præsentem diem multa garriunt inter se Canonici de abscondito quodam istius Abbatis Thomæ thesauro, quem sæpe, quanquam adhuc incassum, quæsiverunt Steinfeldenses. Ipsum enim Thomam adhuc florida in ætate existentem ingentem auri massam circa monasterium defodisse perhibent; de quo multoties interrogatus ubi esset, cum risu respondere solitus erat: “Job, [...] Read more →
On the decline of the Roman power, about five centuries after Christ, the countries of Northern Europe were left almost destitute of a national government. Numerous chiefs, more or less powerful, held local sway, as far as each [...] Read more →
It has been said by a thoughtful writer that the subject of witchcraft has hardly received that place which it deserves in the history of opinions. There has been, of course, a reason for this neglect—the fact that the belief in witchcraft is no longer [...] Read more →
Are you dissatisfied with the Savings Account and CD Interest Rates your bank currently has on offer?
If so, go to https://www.treasurydirect.gov and open an account. The U.S. Government’s iBonds are currently earning 9.62% interest through October of this year.
Individuals may purchase $10,000 worth of iBonds per [...] Read more →
The rude awakening over the past year of increasingly high food and gas prices has been quite the shock for the American consumer. The U.S. Federal Government and Federal Reserve Bank’s sluggish reaction to growing consumer price inflation certainly have not helped. If history is to be our guide, there is more [...] Read more →
FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION16 CFR Part 23Guides for the Jewelry, PreciousMetals, and Pewter Industries
The US Government has laws guiding the business practices of the Jewelry and Precious Metals Industries. If you are unclear as a seller as to your obligations under the law as related to any [...] Read more →
Prisons as places of detention are very ancient institutions. As soon as men had learned the way to build, in stone, as in Egypt, or with bricks, as in Mesopotamia, when kings had many-towered fortresses, and the great barons castles [...] Read more →
Country House Essays, the book is now in print. This is an eclectic collection of both original, and historical essays, poems, books, and articles created for our loyal reader hear at CountryHouseEssays.com. It is jam packed with reprints of articles from this website. The cost is $49.95 for this massive [...] Read more →
Although the light of nature, and the works of creation and providence, do so far manifest the goodness, wisdom, and power of God, as to leave men inexcusable; yet are they not sufficient to give that knowledge of God, and of his will, which is necessary [...] Read more →
Harvey Wiley, Chief Chemist of the Department of Agriculture’s Division of Chemistry (third from the right) with his staff, not long after he joined the division in 1883. Wiley’s scientific expertise and political skills were a key to passage of the 1906 Food and Drugs Act and the creation of the FDA.
“Saint John’s Gate, Clerkenwell, the main gateway to the Priory of Saint John of Jerusalem,” black and white photograph by the British photographer Henry Dixon, 1880. The church was founded in the 12th century by Jordan de Briset, a Norman knight. Prior Docwra completed the gatehouse shown in this photograph in 1504. The gateway [...] Read more →
The University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Tennessee has a long heralded tradition of assisting farmers and growers through it’s Agricultural Extension Service. The following bulletin entitled Grape Growing in Tennessee discusses the Muscadine variety of grapes among others. Muscadine grapes are often found growing wild in Tennessee. On my grandfather’s West Tennessee [...] Read more →
Resolution adapted at the New Orleans Convention of the American Institute of Banking, October 9, 1919:
“Ours is an educational association organized for the benefit of the banking fraternity of the country and within our membership may be found on an equal basis both employees and employers; and in full appreciation [...] Read more →
Reprinted from FineModelShips.com with the kind permission of Dr. Michael Czytko
The SAN FELIPE is one of the most favoured ships among the ship model builders. The model is elegant, very beautifully designed, and makes a decorative piece of art to be displayed at home or in [...] Read more →
By the death of Mr. Scarth on the 5th of April, at Tangier, where he had gone for his health’s sake, the familiar form of an old and much valued Member of the Institute has passed away. Harry Mengden Scarth was bron at Staindrop in Durham, [...] Read more →
A Lecture Delivered at the Guildhall, March 2, 1853 by Rev. H.M. Scarth, M.A., Rector of Bathwick.
To understand the ancient history of the country in which we live, to know something of the arts and manners of the people who have preceded us, to ascertain what we owe to [...] Read more →
Eadweard Muybridge was a fascinating character. Click here to learn how Eadweard committed “Justifiable Homicide” after shooting his wife’s lover in 1874.
The arsenicals (compounds which contain the heavy metal element arsenic, As) have a long history of use in man – with both benevolent and malevolent intent. The name ‘arsenic’ is derived from the Greek word ‘arsenikon’ which means ‘potent'”. As early as 2000 BC, arsenic trioxide, obtained from smelting copper, was used [...] Read more →
Photo Caption: The Marquis of Zetland, KC, PC – otherwise known as Lawrence Dundas Son of: John Charles Dundas and: Margaret Matilda Talbot born: Friday 16 August 1844 died: Monday 11 March 1929 at Aske Hall Occupation: M.P. for Richmond Viceroy of Ireland Vice Lord Lieutenant of North Yorkshire Lord – in – Waiting [...] Read more →
The Hunt Saboteur is a national disgrace barking out loud, black mask on her face get those dogs off, get them off she did yell until a swift kick from me mare her voice it did quell and sent the Hunt Saboteur scurrying up vale to the full cry of hounds drowning out her [...] Read more →
From The Historian’s History of the World (In 25 Volumes) by Henry Smith William L.L.D. – Vol. XVI.(Scandinavia) Pg. 308-310
The northern part of the Scandinavian peninsula, as already noticed, had been peopled from the remotest times by nomadic tribes called Finns or Cwenas by the Norwegians and Lapps [...] Read more →
The Interrogation of Joan of Arc by Cardinal Winchester
Pussy Willow wielded a real broad sword Honed with diamonds and emery board They say she cut her own umbilical chord The day she strapped it on to serve her Lord
Ripping up and replacing a tiled floor is a daunting and expensive task, especially should one live in a fully furnished house full of antique furniture. An alternative is to hand paint the tiles which can save thousands of dollars in furniture removal, storage expenses and labor costs. Let’s not [...] Read more →
Reprint from The Sportsman’s Cabinet and Town and Country Magazine, Vol I. Dec. 1832, Pg. 94-95
To the Editor of the Cabinet.
SIR,
Possessing that anxious feeling so common among shooters on the near approach of the 12th of August, I honestly confess I was not able to [...] Read more →
PAINTER-WORK, in the building trade. When work is painted one or both of two distinct ends is achieved, namely the preservation and the coloration of the material painted. The compounds used for painting—taking the word as meaning a thin protective or decorative coat—are very numerous, including oil-paint of many kinds, distemper, whitewash, [...] Read more →
If you’re looking for that most refreshing of summertime beverages for sipping out on the back patio or perhaps as a last drink before walking the plank, let me recommend my Blunderbuss Mai Tai. I picked up the basics to this recipe over thirty years ago when holed up in [...] Read more →
Over the years I have observed a decline in manners amongst young men as a general principle and though there is not one particular thing that may be asserted as the causal reason for this, one might speculate…
Self-awareness and being aware of one’s surroundings in social interactions [...] Read more →
THE shirk is a well-known specimen of the genus homo. His habitat is offices, stores, business establishments of all kinds. His habits are familiar to us, but a few words on the subject will not be amiss. The shirk usually displays activity when the boss is around, [...] Read more →
In this essay we are examining another form of matter otherwise known as national literary matters, the three most important of which being the Matter of Rome, Matter of France, and the Matter of England.
Our focus shall be on the Matter of England or [...] Read more →
The Effect of Magnetic Fields on Wound Healing Experimental Study and Review of the Literature
Steven L. Henry, MD, Matthew J. Concannon, MD, and Gloria J. Yee, MD Division of Plastic Surgery, University of Missouri Hospital & Clinics, Columbia, MO Published July 25, 2008
Country House Essays, the book is now in print. This is an eclectic collection of both original, and historical essays, poems, books, and articles created for our loyal reader hear at CountryHouseEssays.com. It is jam packed with reprints of articles from this website. The cost is $49.95 for this massive [...] Read more →
THE transient tenure that most of us have in our dwellings, and the absorbing nature of the struggle that most of us have to make to win the necessary provisions of life, prevent our encouraging the manufacture of well-wrought furniture.
We mean to outgrow our houses—our lease expires after [...] Read more →
“The Leda, in the Colonna palace, by Correggio, is dead-coloured white and black, with ultramarine in the shadow ; and over that is scumbled, thinly and smooth, a warmer tint,—I believe caput mortuum. The lights are mellow ; the shadows blueish, but mellow. The picture is painted on [...] Read more →
Notes on the intaglio processes of the most expensive book on birds available for sale in the world today.
The Audubon prints in “The Birds of America” were all made from copper plates utilizing four of the so called “intaglio” processes, engraving, etching, aquatint, and drypoint. Intaglio processes [...] Read more →
There are strange things done in the midnight sun By the men who moil for gold; The Arctic trails have their secret tales That would make your blood run cold; The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, But the queerest they ever did see Was that night [...] Read more →
By the time I got to California the blondes had gone home The Beach Boys were sporting dreadlocks and singing reggae songs The life guard at the tower didn’t have a tan Said if you’re looking for Mama Cass she’s asleep over there in the van
Mudlarks of Victorian London in the River Thames, from “The Headington Magazine” 1871
Mudlarking along the Thames River foreshore is controlled by the Port of London Authority.
According to the Port of London website, two type of permits are issued for those wishing to conduct metal detecting, digging, or searching [...] Read more →
Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward, All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. “Forward, the Light Brigade! Charge for the guns!” he said. Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. Home Top of Pg. Archives [...] Read more →
IT requires a far search to gather up examples of furniture really representative in this kind, and thus to gain a point of view for a prospect into the more ideal where furniture no longer is bought to look expensively useless in a boudoir, but serves everyday and commonplace need, such as [...] Read more →
Reprint from the Sportsman Cabinet and Town & Country Magazine, Vol.1, Number 1, November 1832.
MR. Editor,
Will you allow me to inquire, through the medium of your pages, the correct meaning of the term thorough-bred fox-hound? I am very well aware, that the expression is in common [...] Read more →
FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION16 CFR Part 23Guides for the Jewelry, PreciousMetals, and Pewter Industries
The US Government has laws guiding the business practices of the Jewelry and Precious Metals Industries. If you are unclear as a seller as to your obligations under the law as related to any [...] Read more →
For the somewhat startling suggestion in the heading of this interview, the missionary interviewed is in no way responsible. The credit of it, or, if you like, the discredit, belongs entirely to the editor of the Review, who, without dogmatism, wishes to pose the question as [...] Read more →
This beautifully illustrated New Testament based on the 1611 KJV Bible is published in Limited Edition of 500 Copies World Wide. Included at the end of the text is an unabridged copy of Albert J. Edmunds 1917 classic work, The Oldest Resurrection Documents. Edmunds’ book on the Resurrection utilized source [...] Read more →
THE VALUE OF EVEN TEMPER IN ATHLETICS—SOME OF THE FEATS THAT REQUIRE GOOD NATURE
In the writer’s opinion it becomes necessary to make at this point some suggestions relative to a very important part of the training in jiu-jitsu. Good nature is as essential [...] Read more →
From The Historian’s History of the World (In 25 Volumes) by Henry Smith William L.L.D. – Vol. XVI.(Scandinavia) Pg. 308-310
The northern part of the Scandinavian peninsula, as already noticed, had been peopled from the remotest times by nomadic tribes called Finns or Cwenas by the Norwegians and Lapps [...] Read more →
Audubon started to develop a special technique for drawing birds in 1806 a Miill Grove, Pennsylvania. He perfected it during the long river trip from Cincinnati to New Orleans and in New Orleans, 1821.
EIGHTEEN GALLONS is here give as a STANDARD for all the following Recipes, it being the most convenient size cask to Families. See A General Process for Making Wine
If, however, only half the quantity of Wine is to be made, it is but to divide the portions of [...] Read more →
The meeting between Henry VIII and Francis I, known as the Field of the Cloth of Gold, took place between 7 to 24 June 1520 in a valley subsequently called the Val d’Or, near Guisnes to the south of Calais. The [...] Read more →
Reprinted from FineModelShips.com with the kind permission of Dr. Michael Czytko
The SAN FELIPE is one of the most favoured ships among the ship model builders. The model is elegant, very beautifully designed, and makes a decorative piece of art to be displayed at home or in [...] Read more →
Of the making of books about Napoleon there is no end, and the centenary of his death (May 5) is not likely to pass without adding to the number, but a volume on Napoleon”s pharmacists still awaits treatment by the student in this field of historical research. There [...] Read more →
Como dome facade – Pliny the Elder – Photo by Wolfgang Sauber
Work in Progress…
THE VARNISHES.
Every substance may be considered as a varnish, which, when applied to the surface of a solid body, gives it a permanent lustre. Drying oil, thickened by exposure to the sun’s heat or [...] Read more →
Pencil sketch of Sir Charles Lock Eastlake by John Partridge (Queen Victoria’s favourite portrait painter), 1825
From the work of Sir Charles Lock Eastlake entitled Materials for a history of oil painting, (London: Longman, Brown, Green, and Longmans, 1846), we learn the following:
The effect of oil at certain temperatures, in penetrating [...] Read more →
H.F. Leonard was an instructor in wrestling at the New York Athletic Club. Katsukum Higashi was an instructor in Jujitsu.
“I say with emphasis and without qualification that I have been unable to find anything in jujitsu which is not known to Western wrestling. So far as I can see, [...] Read more →
The following highly collectible Franklin Library Signed Editions were published between 1977 and 1982. They are all fully leather bound with beautiful covers and contain gorgeous and rich silk moire endpapers. Signatures are protected by unattached tissue inserts.
The values listed are average prices that were sought by [...] Read more →
Snipe shooting-Epistle on snipe shooting, from Ned Copper Cap, Esq., to George Trigger-George Trigger’s reply to Ned Copper Cap-Black partridge.
——
“Si sine amore jocisque Nil est jucundum, vivas in &more jooisque.” -Horace. “If nothing appears to you delightful without love and sports, then live in sporta and [...] Read more →
